Love and Relationships in your 50's

Love that starts out in your 50’s is different than the love that begins when you’re in your 20’s. I don’t mean the kind of love that grows between two people as they mature from their early years into their 50’s – I’m talking about the “new” kind of love, the kind that applies to divorcees, those who have been widowed, maybe even those who have never been in a long-term relationship before.

I think it’s because our expectations are different when we’re starting a new relationship after we’ve been in one or more before. Sometimes we’re just not eager or willing to share our history with that person. Maybe we’re ashamed of the things we’ve done or feel we don’t have enough experience, or maybe we think the other person may not want to hear about our past loves and relationships.

I believe it takes longer to really get to know someone who has been in serious relationships before. We’re guarded about certain information, not wanting to share too much too fast, fearing that if we do we may scare the person away. I admit that not everyone is like that – some people find great pleasure in telling you all of their exploits, no matter how it may shade our opinion of them.

It’s a real learning experience to build a loving relationship when you’re older. There has to be a lot more give-and-take because we become somewhat territorial as we get older. Do you know what I mean? It’s the old “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours” routine. Why do we get that way? Maybe it has to do with getting burned before, maybe once, maybe twice, maybe more times than you’d like to admit. It doesn’t make us bad people; it only makes us human.

Relationships that work take time to build. You can become lovers overnight. You can become friends as you get to know each other. But to attain the status of partner in a long-term relationship takes patience and understanding and a lot of compromise.